Programming by Sum Ting Wong
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Record 81
Name: Harry Paratestes
Website: Porn Rover
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: 4th rock from the sun
Time: 2000-06-17 05:25:00
Comments:
jeff,
I think you should go check this out and possibly set upo a link exchange with him. I think you two were in same boat when you were 17. Check it out:
http://www.geocities.com/walters_mission/
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Record 80
Name: #1
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: space
Time: 2000-05-28 22:05:46
Comments:
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Record 79
Name: Lee
Website: BLUE CANE
Referred by: Net Search
From: bay area,CA
Time: 2000-05-11 13:10:41
Comments:
I like your site. I spent many years searching myself, Its nice to see a parody of inlightenment. I linkedyou on my philosophy site, between the Whitehouse and Misanthorpic bitch.
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Record 78
Name: nived
Website: nived's page
Referred by: From a Friend
From: trinidad
Time: 2000-05-03 17:20:47
Comments:
this site kicks ass..i passed the QUIZ!!!!!!!
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Record 77
Name: stilicho
Website: Lambda Education Plan
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: North America III
Time: 2000-04-13 15:13:40
Comments:
Dear Jeff:
Returning to you about trading links. We agreed to this about a month or two ago. Visit, click around, complain, insult, banter & reply!
Thanks
stilicho
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Record 76
Name: Harry Paratestes
Website: A browser just for porn without the crap!
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: 3rd rock from the sun
Time: 2000-04-11 12:28:13
Comments:
wow Jeff, I can't believe it. heard that aol had redone their search engine results, so did a search for amateur asian teens in bondage (my favorite type) and bigger than shit , one of the results is friends of guru jeff!!
who would of thunk it. Way to go dude! now if you could just send a hit.
hey check out the link I sent you, lets you go to adult sites without the worry of any consoles or pop-ups and it's free!!
gotta love that.
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Record 75
Name: Sententia
Website: Sententia * dark music and philosophy
Referred by: From a Friend
From: nl
Time: 2000-03-26 05:07:57
Comments:
Well, a funny approach to philosophy is something else for a change. Nice idea!
Some improvements would be welcome though: more "home" links, and of course not to the indexpage, otherwise you'll have 10.000 'visitors' in no-time!!
I've had no problems with Angelfire myself, sorry. I actually moved their, because I was kicked off another provider. Now I'm both on Angelfire and TMFweb, which last has no advertising.
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Record 74
Name: Paul
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 2000-03-12 22:11:36
Comments:
Thought you might be interested in this sensitive subject:
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Record 73
Name: Bethanee
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 2000-03-09 07:27:43
Comments:
Hi Jeff! You are a funny guy!!! But how true everything is! This page always lifts me up out of a bad mood. Thanks
To Chris: Get a life!!!!! Take some advice from Jeff!!! Jerk!
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Record 72
Name: Chris
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Hollywood
Time: 2000-02-27 11:25:39
Comments:
What is up with this page !!! This is clearly your sad attempt at justifying your own personal shortcomings. If I were you I would see a shrink.
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Record 71
Name: TrooperX
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Calgary, AB. Canada
Time: 2000-02-25 21:32:28
Comments:
Fucking hilarious!
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Record 70
Name: Chris
Website: PHP
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: Kent Uni, England
Time: 2000-02-07 09:37:13
Comments:
Was it just one major catastrophy or lots of minor f*ck ups that made you such a twat?
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Record 69
Name: Paul
Website:
Referred by: AngelFire
From:
Time: 2000-01-19 20:10:52
Comments:
I am Anticipating the so-rumored new guru jeff page and hope it still works on my upgraded VIC-20 (with my new five-pin 2-megabyte RAM module that I pulled out of my Cuisinart). Damnit! I should have waited for the Commodore 64 to come out!
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Record 68
Name: Morella
Website: Morella's Poe Pages
Referred by: Viewing another Guestbook
From: NYC
Time: 2000-01-10 19:13:45
Comments:
Very amusing site, although I think the Women page could be a little more accurate (guess I'm biased..)
I didn't read all of your site, but I applaud the ufo page, especially the stories that were confided to you
and never published elsewhere. I think your conclusions about ufos are accurate, except that I believe
there is more than one kind of visitor coming to this planet. How could everyone be imagining greys?
Hopefully, the truth will be revealed soon. I'm waiting for the hidden chamber in the Sphynx's front paw
to be opened, and the hidden history of mankind will be found which will revise all of the accepted ideas
about mankind's history on this planet.
Best of luck to you! If you have a taste for Poe, or vampyres, or if you need any proofreading or revising
done, please visit my webpage, http://i.am/morella
Yours in Dreams of Darkness,
Morella
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Record 67
Name: Another exKinko's Drone
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From:
Time: 1999-12-18 03:09:33
Comments:
Ah, the famous, or imfamous, Guru Jeff. How I do admire you. I especially enjoyed reading about Joe the Kinko's Kissass and respect you for going out of your way to protect the identity of Joe Forman of the Kinko's El Segundo, CA branch. Why is his picture in black and white? If it was in color, you would be able to see the shit in his red-haired mustache. I worked with that cock sucker at one time and you are right: If it wasn't for Kinko's and the fact that most customers prefer to make their own copies, where would our friend be? Also Mr. Guru, what is a bigger oxymoron than "government intelligence?" The answer: "Career opportunities at Kinko's!" How long did you have to work there to find out that Kinko's is filled with a bunch of high school and ghetto rejects? A few days? Or were you just like me and got a job there because you were unemployed and procrastinated too long in finding a real job? Keep up the good work and when I get my site up and running we can trade links. By the way www.kinkossucks.com has already been registered.
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Record 66
Name: Angel
Website: AngelFiremiles.com
Referred by: AngelFire
From: AngelFire
Time: 1999-12-18 02:29:27
Comments:
Angelfire .angelfire.DO DE Doo.......
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Record 65
Name: Kathy
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Whitman, MA
Time: 1999-12-03 16:40:12
Comments:
Mr. Guru:
I must admit that this is a totally different side to you than what you present on the telephone. This has opened my eyes to a whole new perspective of "Jeff". What planet did you just land from anyway? Jeff, you are one weird dude.
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Record 64
Name: cromagnan
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: oklahoma
Time: 1999-11-17 04:33:52
Comments:
Guru Jeff lifted my spirits in my time of need. My life is a one-way, dead-end street and I don't know how I got there. But, now I realize i'm not the only one. Thank you Guru Jeff, Thank you!
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Record 63
Name: Raa Amon Zepol
Website: The Vortex Void of Inhumanity
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: West Syde Psycho PV Cryps, Nigga!
Time: 1999-11-14 12:26:48
Comments:
GuruJeff, how do I strike back at the man for these outrageous
beer & cig prices?
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Record 62
Name: nicole e. poo
Website: bite me
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: venus
Time: 1999-11-10 21:32:34
Comments:
you love me and you know you don`t really mean all that shit, about women...were the bomb...
here`s my advice to you, the hole is mightier then the pole...
always lusting you nicole xoxoxo
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Record 61
Name: I Learn Life
Website:
Referred by: Net Search
From: DisneyLand
Time: 1999-11-05 17:05:39
Comments:
Jeff,
Your site is so cool and is full of your personality.
Idiots who don't get your excellent ego-trip humor are
losers with troubling self confidence. A very sincere site
and a lot of useful advice.
The order of CPHL+* greets you.
* Cool People who Have a Life and + much more
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Record 60
Name: jeff
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1999-11-05 13:42:20
Comments:
A guru huh,? Sorry, i can't agree. Did you give yourself that title? Your views on women are atrocious. Where's the compassion? You come across as a bitter/resentful man, and while you may be trying to be blessed, you come across as a jerk. I sensed mockery throughout your whole webpage, and how does something that is not real lead to the truth?
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Record 59
Name: Neero Z Taff
Website:
Referred by: AngelFire
From: The Country
Time: 1999-10-23 21:09:38
Comments:
Yo wuz up cuz with the flippty-flab jab in duh hoood? Guru jeff, you be duh authority on all dat shiia..I be jonesin' for su moe enlightenment. Nowsz ias can stop buggin out on them 50 rocks. If anyonez tinks you naah guru I tell thuuum
they be wrong. Why they nah sperience dah first haah lightenment. Why they not lightened?cuz they don't belive in jah.Thems not lightened geet head cut off!!! Then they be lightened!!
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Record 57
Name: Justin
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Maryland
Time: 1999-10-02 22:19:35
Comments:
guru guru guru... let me give you some knowledge from a mere
19 year old teen. First of all, once one says, "I am enlightened!"
they have lost enlightenment. I will admit you have achieved a
higher state of consciousness but hardly enlightenment. You
still have some ego left to shed my friend. Not to offend you
i'm just trying to help. You need to move on. You have stumbled
across a higher level and now you are stuck on it. You still have
ways to go or you wouldn't be in the physical realm of existance.
You have come far and have spent enough time in your glory
now move on. I could be wrong i don't know your current plans.
I'm not you so i don't know how your mind works. Also you aren't
female so you don't know how their minds work but i will tell
you this, a female has just as much potential as a male. Once
you strip to the soul we are all the same. What you talked of
seemed like a stereotypical thing. I couldn't read much past the
first couple paragraphs there. A little about my self guru.
I'm 19. Never had sex or even masterbated. Don't intend to.
I'm vegan. No animal products not even milk. I also managed to
quit cigs easy. I love shedding desire and being self dependent.
Here's a catch. I do drugs. At first i did them for recreation but
over time i changed after some trips that i couldn't begin to
describe to you made me extremely spiritual and proved god
to myself after my lucky and karma rewarding moment of
nirvana due to me after facing all of my fears and going through
what i really thought was hell. I had a near death experience
and lost most of my ego. I will admit i still have some but i'm
working on that and still have some time to go. If i didn't have an
ego and was enlightened i wouldn't even write you this letter and
would probably just laugh and move on. I'm not perfect. Also
my all knowing friend, the first step is to know that you know nothing.
I do respect you and it seems you have an explanation for every
one of your choices for your lifestyle but are you fooling yourself?
No problem just let it go. I really don't think a guru would post
pictures of naked ladies and have a personal group of chics.
Sounds more like a cult to me but once again i don't know you
and could be wrong. I won't be coming back here to read your
reply so if you have one i suggest emailing it to me. Anyone
else who reads this and wants to chat about anything email me as
well. Maybe you are just trying to be humorous with your site
but if you are completely serious then tone down your self
proclaimed status a little and don't give the highest of the highest
living gurus that exist somewhere a bad name to those new to
this game. Sorry if this letter was a little egotistical itself but
hey i'm (and the guru here) are neither perfect. Thanx for your
time and don't take offense. Just trying to help.
lots of love to you all
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Record 56
Name: Seamus MacLeod
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Like, Southern California, Dude!
Time: 1999-09-29 02:28:36
Comments:
I truly love the site, your insights are quite amusing...esp. with a touch of insight into the source!
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Record 54
Name: Harry Paratestes
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1999-08-08 00:14:51
Comments:
damn, you want to look at your "new" format and the damn server is down! what's up
with that? and you pay for this crap?
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Record 53
Name: the Wanderling
Website: ZEN ENLIGHENMENT
Referred by: Net Search
From:
Time: 1999-08-05 19:44:50
Comments:
Guru Jeff...thank you! It is always a pleasure to come across an outpost in the wilderness, especially a humorous one, for wanderlings, seekers along the path and others. Again, my thanks...
...the Wanderling
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Record 52
Name: Jack N. Mehoff
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1999-07-23 00:53:38
Comments:
thought you might want to check this out, boy you sure have gotten some hostile visitors lately
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Record 51
Name: Hippo Housewife
Website: Lifetime Television for Women Movie Reviews
Referred by: Viewing another Guestbook
From: My couch
Time: 1999-07-21 04:46:26
Comments:
Jeff, what I'd like to know is why practically every Angelfire web page
is a zillion lines long, with a black starry background and lots of animated
gifs. If Geocities is the trailer park of the 'net, then Angelfire is the
makeshift hobo colony under the bridge.
Oh, and about your attitude towards women. If you read
my Lifetime Movie Reviews, I'm sure you would find a way to connect
with a woman on a more intimate level.
Guru Jeff's Reply: Hippo, I believe Angelfire
purposely gives its users such a crappy built-in HTML
editor, that that's really all you'll ever find on Angelfire.
If someone is smart enough to learn HTML, they're also smart
enough to eventually go to a real ISP.
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Record 50
Name: Chris AKA DJ Deli
Website: DJ Deli's Homepage on ANGELFIRE
Referred by: Clicked on our Banner Advertisement
From: USA
Time: 1999-07-20 18:45:53
Comments:
HMMM....Your "Angelfire Sucks" section is worrying me....Is this true???? Cuz Angelfire was the easiest way for me to upload files from all the free
web space servers that I tried. Geoshitties and Tripod froze on me countless times and I went back to Angelfire. Aside from porno and
gory, graphic images, it states on Angelfire's TOS that sites are removed if for 30 days there are no visitors and there are no alterations
to your web page. I just wanna make a good page here!! YOU GUYS ARE SO BIASED!!!
I will have to submit your site to Worstoftheweb.com because it wastes valuable cache space (not just cuz of the Angelfire content) Later!!!
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Record 49
Name: Stacy
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: a small town in California
Time: 1999-07-19 17:35:37
Comments:
Hey Guru guy, What's the deal with the whole sexist thing?
I am normally a pretty cool sort of chick, I hang out with almost all guys, but seriously, everything you have on your website regarding women/feminism is completely negative. You obviously are not even close to guru status if you can't even see that chicks are not here for the sole purpose of your enjoyment. I hope chicks exercise their "natural reaction" to sex with you, meaning, just in case the "guru" himself didn't catch it, that I hope they tell you "no". I would, if such an egotistical loser were to ask me to do anything of the sort with him. Apparently some individuals can't comprehend that eveyone is equal. That's o.k., keep telling yourself you're a guru, see how far that gets you.
Guru Jeff's Reply: First off, contrary to some internet rumors I DO NOT make
any of my women carry dirt in their pocket to "always
remind them of what they are." I would never do that!. If that is what you are referring to, let
me assure you that it's absolutely false.
Secondly, it has been said that it's quite difficult to judge
where you are by looking outward. Being a woman, you may not
understand the truth behind my philosophies and teachings. Maybe
you do, but do not want to accept reality.
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Record 48
Name: Jealous Future Guru
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1999-07-15 01:03:24
Comments:
Good luck for your business!
I believe that we have a lot of nuts, who
will give donations.
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Record 47
Name: Steve Phillips
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Stamford, CT
Time: 1999-07-14 15:00:30
Comments:
A truly funny page, Guru Jeff! When does the movie come out?
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Record 46
Name: asciimation
Website: www.asciimation.com
Referred by: Viewing another Guestbook
From:
Time: 1999-07-11 13:31:54
Comments:
Your not much of a guru, if you cannot simply download java clients. I read your pages and am not convinced on your self proclaimed status.
Get a life and maybe you'll turn 13 someday.
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Record 45
Name: terry cuthbert.
Website:
Referred by: Signing another Guestbook
From: ff%243
Time: 1999-07-08 11:05:55
Comments:
I worship the Goddess Zanzazera, and she told me of you, then by chance of santa, i foundeth you, i believe you, thou must learn Zanzazera's words, the whole planet depends on it! The fed fears her & has just closed my website, when i said all men women and children must love for her, horrors of horrors i didn't mean sex! In fact she is strict on the vows of marriage, i will distroy all those who do not believe in the Goddess Zanzazera, by not speaking to them!
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Record 44
Name: Hackshop
Website: Da Hackshop!
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: Secret
Time: 1999-06-29 23:22:36
Comments:
Awesome site! Very interesting and enlightening!
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Record 43
Name: Lizzy
Website:
Referred by: Net Search
From: Florida
Time: 1999-06-29 08:10:51
Comments:
Odd site. I liked it a lot though.
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Record 42
Name: Porn King
Website: Free porn with no banners or b.s.
Referred by: From a Friend
From: The world is my oyster
Time: 1999-06-27 09:54:19
Comments:
All noing Guru, who the hell is this imposter going by the name of Buru Jeff?
Not only is this guy trying to pass himself off as a guru (what is a buru anyways?),
he never even answered my question. What's with that?
GURU JEFF'S REPLY: I don't know, honorable seeker of truth. I hope you're not talking about any of my misspellings. Notepad doesn't have a spell checker.
Uh, Okay, thanks Mr. King. Thanks for the excellent link also.
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Record 41
Name: fistrectum
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1999-06-26 17:39:25
Comments:
Guru dude: I have a problem. I work at Kinko's. I've heard some nasty rumors that you have worked there too. I'm about to hang myself. Any suggestions ?
Guru dude: I have a problem. I work at Kinko's. I've heard some nasty rumors that you have worked there too. I'm about to hang myself. Any suggestions ?
GURU JEFF'S REPLY: Do not commit suicide! My suggestion is to quit Kinko's and let your "survival skills" kick in. Chances are you'll find a better job. If that doesn't work, you CAN ALWAYS GO BACK TO KINKO's.
The All-knowing Guru Jeff
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Record 40
Name: Porn King
Website: Picfetcher - free porno - no banners or b.s.
Referred by: From a Friend
From: The world is my oyster
Time: 1999-06-25 07:13:02
Comments:
All noing Guru: I have a large problem. As you know,
Catherine the Hot Chick is gracing Europe with her presence.
I have received not one, but two postcards from her. My problem is
that I don't know if I should feel honored or humbled, or should everyone
else be jealous? This has really bothered me as I know no one else that has
received even one message from her. What do you think?
GURU JEFF'S REPLY: Since I am a traveling Guru, it would be awfully hard to send a postcard to me. Alas, that is probably the reason that I haven't gotten one. You know Mr. King, maybe it's just that she wants to do you more than me?
The All Knowing Guru Jeff
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Record 39
Name: Truth
Website: THE truth
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Trueland
Time: 1999-06-18 01:53:47
Comments:
Fuck off guru jeff! This kind of shit will work in America where millions of dumbos reside. Come anywhere to the East where "truth", "spirituality" etc are sensible terms and you will be thrown tomatoes at (if people care that much in the first place).
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Record 38
Name: P.Body
Website:
Referred by: From a Web Ring
From: New York
Time: 1999-06-17 20:41:49
Comments:
Your page made me so sick. I can not beleave you. I am sick now I go. Die Die.
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Record 37
Name: Robert E.
Website: The World's Wackiest Poetry, by the Ignorant Hillbilly
Referred by: Clicked on a 'Guestbooks by GuestWorld' Button
From: Started out in Wes', by cracky, Virginny, but am presently losted in tennestucky
Time: 1999-05-28 06:13:05
Comments:
Jus' skimmin' thru, hoss. Y' might wanna check out muh own shack... mebbe even th' outhouse. Shuck'ns, I got s' many webby sites I ain't even shore whur I live no more.
As they say in Southern Japan... Sayonara, you-all.
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Record 36
Name: UnknownProgrammer
Website: Redneck Employment Agency
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Southwest of here!
Time: 1999-05-27 12:32:20
Comments:
My Dearest Guru,your prophecies have encouraged me to move from NY and designa suitable monument to you in Davenport, Iowa and remember
I am not just the President of the R E A. I am a Client!The Unknown Programmer
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Record 35
Name: Mead Dooley
Website: Pages R' us
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Electronic space
Time: 1999-05-10 22:09:11
Comments:
Dear Guru Jeff- I must thank you. Ever since I have read your website, I have discusted true meaning of life. Itry to sell all my furrnnitture for chheap I make tenty dollar.The rest I give Away.I Am now at peace but ver y hunggry.
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Record 34
Name: Carol Bartlett
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: my mother
Time: 1999-05-05 17:30:08
Comments:
Do me baby :)
GURU JEFF'S REPLY: Okay.
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Record 33
Name: REAPS
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From:
Time: 1999-04-20 20:41:11
Comments:
LET IT BE KNOWN THET I WILL NEVER ADDRESS A PERSON
LOWER TO ME AS IF HE WERE HIGHER. I BELONG TO A RING OF
WEBMASTERS UNKNOWN TO ANYONE. WE HIDE IN THE
SHADOWS AND EVEN THE BEST HAVEN'T FOUND US YET. YOU
SEEM TO HAVE SOME TECHNICAL EXPERTISE AND WE'RE
OFFERING YOU A PLACE AMONG US. YOU WILL BE ASSIGNED
ONE INFORMANT. HIS ADDRESS IS REAPER, AH AH AH. HE HAS
SIGNED THE GUESTBOOK OF A SITE THAT IS KNOWN TO YOU,
A HINT: IT'S NOT TO PARTIAL TO ANGELFIRE. YOU HAVE UNTIL
MAY 2nd. AFTER THEN, YOU WILL NEVER HEAR FROM US AGAIN.
-A FRIEND
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Record 32
Name: Caanu Sucmi
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Wouldn't you like to know!
Time: 1999-04-10 05:31:16
Comments:
Hey Guru Man ...... ........... .......
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Record 31
Name: Peabo T. Washingrahm
Website: What you should know about Angelfire
Referred by: AngelFire
From: duh hood
Time: 1999-04-07 18:55:29
Comments:
Wuz up, guru jeff. tanks to yo advice, i've been tak'in control uh mi lyfe. You tow d my tu du eryting to succeed in my life. I' ridden the sin. I capped off all dem asses dat I nevah lyked!!! 23 in awl!!!Thangz to you ass Gurujeff.I cuz eva needs a favah or dirtee deedz dune dut cheap... E Mailz du huuu.. Snyper@10243.343.edu
by du way..I already gotz yo asses reques tu cap off entry #9's shit.....
Latez....
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Record 30
Name: ari
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: France
Time: 1999-04-07 13:01:08
Comments:
Thank you guru jeff. You pulled me out of a though and painful life.
You brought to me light and wisdom and helped me to discover happiness again.
I would like to tell you something in private, please mail me.
Ari, one of your pupils.
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Record 29
Name: adam
Website: VISIT MY PAGE OR DIE
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1999-03-30 06:03:55
Comments:
u r the funniest man ha ha ha..
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Record 28
Name: turtle
Website: Matt's Brain Hates You
Referred by: Viewing another Guestbook
From: L.B.C.
Time: 1999-03-29 18:53:19
Comments:
Damn, you say your page is best viewable with any browser. Your page sucks! Obviously half of the links missing( by viewing the source) on your index page. What a loser. Guru this!
Guru Jeff's Reply: Dear honored guest. By viewing your IP address I can tell that you are on a Mac. Your browser is not the problem; I suggest that you run a real computer.
By the way, I have been to your page and it is really scary! You need to really learn HTML -- so, you don't know what a closing tag is, huh? Since imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery, I won't complain about the Clinton picture and table that you insisted on using. I guess my source code isn't all that bad.
Friends, I have verified this lost souls email address. Please Email "turtle" with any advise or psychiatric referrals.
Best wishes,
The All Knowing Guru Jeff
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Record 27
Name: Baji Markim Babu Prabu
Website: Hut of the Blind Camel
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: Nepal
Time: 1999-03-20 19:42:31
Comments:
Oh Hum Money Pum.... OM....Guru Jeff, You are truly the One Who Knows All!Way cool site, Dude!
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Record 26
Name:
Website: The Haller Hilton
Referred by: From a Friend
From: The Big Easy
Time: 1999-03-10 03:35:22
Comments:
Hey Jeff,
Some "Hot Chick" asked me to check out your site.
Nice, But for some really good Catherine "The Hot Babe" pics
check out my site, I will be adding a lot more of Her from the partying At Mardi Gras in New Orleans, so please feel
free to use as many you may need!!!!!!
6 pics added now, 15 still to go, Thanks for the link, I will returned the favor
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Record 25
Name: therese
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: boston
Time: 1999-02-28 22:29:06
Comments:
the bible states man was created in OUR image. not his image. states let US make man in OUR image, in OUR LIKENESS and we musn't forget enoch. the one who walked with the gods and returned only to walk with the gods several more times. also peple their are way much better ufo web sites out their. so dont let mr guru here scare you away!!!!
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Record 24
Name: Jorge E. Bonilla
Website: PÁGINA DEL IDIOMA ESPAÑOL
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Costa Rica (only true civilized and democratic country in the world)
Time: 1999-02-27 09:56:23
Comments:
Dear Gurujeff:
I have a drinking problem, but I am not sure if I am an alcoholic? Does your spiritual wisdom cover such loathsome topics like alcohlism? What do you think of AA? Have you ever heard of the "Trudgers"?? Would you be so kind as to write about alcoholism, AA, and the "Trudgers"? Gurujeff, do you drink?
GURU JEFF'S REPLY:
Dear Mr. Bonilla, Usually if you have a drinking problem, it is associated with alcoholism. However, people tend to drink for numerous reasons. If you are drinking everyday out of bordom or depression, then you definitely do have a problem. My suggestion is to eat vegtables and no meat. If that doesn't work, try moving to Saudi Arabia where drinking is against the law. I will have to do some research on "The Trudgers." As far as the Autoclub is concerned, the only help they can provide you is to tow your car after you smash it in a drunk driving accident.. I drink, but only beer and only for spiritual/nutritional purposes. Best of luck to you.
The All Knowing Guru Jeff
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Record 23
Name: Louie Garadino
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: New York
Time: 1999-02-21 16:39:42
Comments:
Greetings to the honorable guru jeff, just touching bases with you again- That's right, This Month I'm breaking kneecaps for only 3000 big one's. Buy three get one free.Don't let those lawyers fuck with thee;lawyers kneecaps are always free!!! See you on 14TH st And 5TH ave.
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Record 22
Name: Dewey, Shankem & Howe, Attorneys at Law
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Beverly Hills
Time: 1999-02-16 12:07:24
Comments:
Okay, so you paid off our client and made a possible out of court
settlement, but you can be sure, we will be keeping an eye on you. It will
be almost too easy, like taking a blow job from Monica Lewinsky or candy from a baby.
Your choice of phors. In the meantime, I guess I need to prepare
the breach of contract suit against our former client. Yours, I will just keep
as a fill in the blanks lawsuit which will be featured in our new book
"How to Sue Complete Idiots, For the Complete Idiot." Look for it coming soon.
Well I guess I should maybe contact Angelfire, or the porn king and
see how they feel about defamation of character suits, or smart money
says we can get a stalking complaint from Catherine, which we will overlook
if you will send us a complimentary set of those, oh so hot lips. Mums the word.
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Record 21
Name: L. Savage
Website: REPUBLIC of TEXAS
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: see above
Time: 1999-02-12 01:05:49
Comments:
Just viewed the guestbook - is that message from the lawyer firm for real????
If so - they have threatened you...
If this is true - SUE them (yes SUE the LAWYERS under Title 18 and Title 42!
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Record 20
Name: Laurence Savage
Website: Rense Report- Transcripts of Sightings on the Radio!
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Republic of Texas
Time: 1999-02-12 00:59:19
Comments:
You have faced the BEAST also I see..... There are several TRUTH sites in cyberspace about the UNITED STATES
Massacre of men, women and children at Mt Carmel Waco Texas... The feds keep causing these to disappear also.
This is why I am a proud citizen of the Republic of Texas.... we want a complete separation from the imbeciles running the UNITED STATES - now !
Keep up the good work here!
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Record 19
Name: Dewey, Shankem & Howe, Attorneys at Law
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Beverly Hills
Time: 1999-02-08 14:09:49
Comments:
When our client told us what you did to her picture, I am not sure that I actually believed her. Then you were kind enough to provide
a copy of the original. Our client thanks you, as do we. Your friend will be sure to get full credit by our including his name,
and the name of his business in the Summons and Complaint for Damages.
While I am sure there is plenty of room for personal comments directed toward you that would seem appropriate,
I will save them for the actual lawsuit, as well as our clients deposition and her testimony.
One hint though, the picture found on your Congregation of Chicks page, the one that has the ALT tag of "5 busty women."
You might consider going back and recounting them, unless of course the 8 tits, in of themselves, actually constitute the 5th entity.
You might consider explaining that on your site someday, maybe while you can still afford to have a website.
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Record 18
Name: dowdism
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: california
Time: 1999-02-03 13:25:21
Comments:
i love this page!
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Record 17
Name: Jerry
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Hollyweird, California
Time: 1999-01-28 02:50:51
Comments:
Yellow text on white? how pedestrian......
GURU JEFF'S REPLY: Dear sir, Your patience is much appreciated while we restore the former grandeure to this site after the Satan worshipping distorters of truth at Angelfire Communinications deleted this page. No url = temporarily no background. Thank you for your patience; don't forget to send for your free gift. The All Knowing Guru Jeff
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Record 16
Name: Anonymous
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1999-01-11 06:28:24
Comments:
You need to understand that you are both conceded and fucked up. You
don't call yourself a Guru ok? Please do not reply to this because I
don't want you get me fucked up. -Stryker
P.S. Maybe you were smoking crack while creating your page, in that
case, sorry.
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Record 15
Name: Bill Clinton
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1998-12-30 08:53:14
Comments:
Wow! Your never before seen UFO photos are as real as I am. (i.e. there as worthless as a chicken with balls)
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Record 14
Name: Harry Paratestes
Website: Young Asian Wonders
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Athens, Greece
Time: 1998-12-24 15:37:30
Comments:
Who are these wenches that want to have their way with the obviously pure and madonna-like-a-virgin Catherine the Hot Chick
Here in Greece we know how to treat a woman, and we are very family orientated. In fact, I still live at home because I didn't want to leave my little brother's behind.
One night of some Greek whining, and maybe some dining, and she will know the pleasures of going around the world with a Greek, traveling the hershey highway.
I have included a few pictures of other beautiful women that thought I was a pervert, up until they passed out (or so they say! The jury is still out, but I am hoping to be found not guilty).
Catherine can see that she is in great company!
Anyway Catherine, you are too hot but you need a good solid man like me, Harry Paratestes! Maybe we can invite Mona and Ima to join us!
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Record 13
Name: Ima Honey
Website: Asian College Girls
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Kyoto, Japan
Time: 1998-12-24 15:23:59
Comments:
I agree with Mona with most of what she says about Catherine the Hot Chick, except I think Catherine is too hot for Mona too!
I am so-o-o horney, and I will love her long time! She will never be with just man after she be with me!
I teach her for to love a long time, only with a man and a woman at the same time!
Catherine, please cum look at my pictures! I cum when I see yours! We can have long, hot, horney cybersex.
Contact me if you are interested, please!
Ima
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Record 12
Name: Mona Lott
Website: Asian Teens Free Page
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Hong Kong
Time: 1998-12-24 15:13:17
Comments:
It is obvious that Catherine the Hot Chick is just too hot for you or any other guy,
but might be just right for me!
Does she like girls? Is she sure about that? Perhaps I could take her for a walk on the wild side! Cum see me at my website Catherine, and
if interested, you can contact me for the time of your life! I promise! After all, no one knows a woman better
than another woman, right?
I'll be waiting for you! XXXXXXOOOOOOXXXXXXX
Mona
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Record 11
Name: Reverend Marty
Website: Die please...
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: UK
Time: 1998-12-08 23:49:52
Comments:
Can I have some o' those brainwashing chemicals?
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Record 10
Name: Ron Castillo
Website:
Referred by: AngelFire
From:
Time: 1998-11-30 05:28:11
Comments:
Keep up the good work.
Your format is a little annoying, however, it is better than
most home pages out there.
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Record 9
Name: kinko the clown
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: everywhere soon !
Time: 1998-11-15 00:02:43
Comments:
I just wanted to remind you that if you ever did work for kinko the clown you may not say misleading or derogatory statements ( even if they are all true ) about my company.
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Record 8
Name: Raa Amon Zepol
Website: The Vortex Void of Inhumanity
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Helvete
Time: 1998-11-06 19:47:48
Comments:
That was lame. Better stop trying to be witty when I get 4 fucking hours of sleep.
Sorgh På Svarte Vinger Flogh!
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Record 7
Name: Ramon Lopez
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: San Quentin
Time: 1998-11-03 07:34:18
Comments:
I recognize you! Arent you the wigger who used to work at Kinkos!? You look kinda like
that prison yard community wife ... Fuck tha po-lice!
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Record 6
Name: Johnas Burg
Website:
Referred by: Net Search
From: Australia
Time: 1998-11-02 09:53:49
Comments:
So this site is to promote world piece? You dumb ass! You're not suppose to say the things you are saying. You are making a stupid comedy of the whole world situation.
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Record 5
Name: eli dread
Website:
Referred by: From a Friend
From: hellven
Time: 1998-11-02 00:04:44
Comments:
Well, you finally made it. When will you be appearing on Oprah ? Can I have your autograph ?
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Record 4
Name: Abdularajmanjani
Website: The Vortex Void of Inhumanity
Referred by: From a Friend
From: The Planet Gong
Time: 1998-11-01 16:33:50
Comments:
Oh good golly gosh yes! I have been enlightened in the ways of the truthseeker!
I have seen the truth, and the truth is good. Freedom is irrelevant. Self-determination
is irrelevant. Death is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. Submission is all!
Hate the sin, not the sinner. Save Satan!
Her oppe pa fjellet ved midnattsilden kan man ...
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Record 3
Name: Paul A.
Website: none yet
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Milkey way
Time: 1998-10-31 20:03:28
Comments:
Are all the answers that plauges mankind really found here???
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Record 2
Name: Susan W.
Website:
Referred by: AngelFire
From: Elko, Nevada
Time: 1998-10-30 03:35:49
Comments:
Dear, dearest Guru Jeff,
I'm a housewife living in Elko Nevada, so Im not too cultured, but you have struck
a choard with me on a level I had to tell you about. We say here, in gods country,
that the truth shall set you free. You are right on the money. Everything is sooo
TRUE!!!
Starting tomorrow, I am going to start my life over. My husband is at a bar
right now, talking about how the electric company sucks, or somthing, so Im
going to kick him out and get support for me and my five childeren.
Thank you once again for waking my soiled eyes.
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Record 1
Name: Sherry
Website:
Referred by: AngelFire
From: South Carolina
Time: 1998-10-30 02:46:56
Comments:
You are so right about women! How did you know so much about us! I thought your
page was funny at first until I read on. You're right about everything! That Duster is really cool too!
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